See the World- What I learned on our first round the world adventure

*Warning*  This blog post is almost as long as our actual trip around the world…feel free to skip to the happy stuff at the end….

When Violet was 12 months old I decided it would be fun to take her to Africa.  I had clients living in Cape Towne asking if I could make the journey to create family pictures of them on their beloved beach. I couldn’t turn the opportunity down.  After all, we had already gone as a family to Mexico just 6 months months prior and had made a quick trip to Texas with no problems.  However,  I was still a little naive to what a 32 hour travel day (days??) would entail.

We started off our journey with a red-eye flight to Toronto. She had a bottle and slowly fell asleep on my lap.   I began patting myself on the back- of course I could travel alone with my toddler- I was a travel rockstar. I was feeling pretty relaxed until I relized my connection in Toronto was in a different ternimal and with snow causing a delay in Edmonton I was going to have to run like mad if I wanted to catch that plane to Heathrow. I did run and I was a sweaty mess by the time I stepped aboard the waiting plane.  Luckily, we had been given a bulkhead seat.  The flight attendant then asked nonchalantly if Violet could sit up on her own. Of course she could, she was a year old! But I caught her side-wink and was immediately given a bassinet which clamps on the the wall of the bulkhead.  It seemed genius! Violet fell asleep in my arms (seeing as it was 4am our time and she had only had a few broken hours of sleep total all night) and again I was feeling like a pro as I laid her down so she could sleep in the bassinet. I thought perhaps I could also finally get some rest. What felt like minutes later, my neighbour was shaking me awake motioning to my sweet daughter who was literally hanging off the end of the bassinet. I grabbed her right before she crashed to the ground. She smiled up at me sweetly unaware of my heart pounding out of my chest. I decided she would sit with  me the remainder of the flight to avoid any more excitement, which meant I did not sleep the remainder of the flight to Heathrow.

We arrived in London and went through customs. Luckily for me we ended up with the angriest customs agent in all of the UK. He drilled and questioned me on my intentions on travelling alone with my baby even though I had a notarized letter from home. After our drill we got to go through security again. By another stroke of luck our secuity guard decided that he wanted me to sample every food product in my bad. As the very prepared mom I am, I had a kit packed with various snacks and every infant medication known to mankind. So I got to sample baby advil, tylenol, bendryll, some health food store fussy-baby-magic-potion, a baby food pouch, a bottle of pre-made formula and some random toddler snacks. After not sleeping for nearly 24 hours these didn’t sit overly well with me, but hey, we were halfway to Africa and I was basically a zombie who would do anything to get there. We made it into our terminal, accidentally ate a $50 lunch, I let Violet stretch her legs and walk around, and then put her in my wrap and began walking the airport for her to sleep for the last bit of our layover.  I was feeling near delirious and ready to board our next plane in hopes that I could also get some sleep with my daughter.

We boarded the plane only to have the flight attendant tell me there was no baby wearing allowed on board. I knew this rule but have really never understood it.I was hoping they’d make an exception for an exhausted mom/sleeping baby, but of course they did not. Grudgingly I agreed. Violet instantly woke up and was  ready to party. Sigh. After our dinner they turned off the lights and decided it was time for everyone to go asleep. That is everyone expect Violet. She did not like those lights off. She did not like me telling her to be quiet. She was getting angrier by the minute (my husband and I refer to this as “feral cat mode” at home). I figured she was just exhausted and I tried rocking her to sleep. This made it worse.  She got louder and louder. I panicked and got every toy, book and snack out of my backpack for a sensory overload. That worked for a few minutes until she wanted  to move around again. The mom-in-me-now probably would have take her to the bathroom or the back of the plane to burn off some energy but the mom-in-me-then only wanted her to sleep like every one else on the plane. She started to cry, and got louder the more I tried to keep her quiet.  Then it happened.  A man behind me came up to my side and said “can’t you give that baby something to keep quiet? ANYTHING??” I sat and looked at him in dismay and replied, “I’m trying my hardest” instead of one of the witty responses I’ve spent the past 5 years thinking up.  (In fact I had given her tylenol in case her ears were bothering her, but at that point I was dealing with an overtired kid in a different time zone who had been been travelling for over 20 hours.)  I started to cry silently in my chair. I was exhausted and I didn’t know what to do. So I passed Violet her favourite book and watched her tear out each page with tears streaming down my face. Eventually Violet fell asleep on my feet for the last few hours of the flight. We finally finished the third leg of our journey and I got off the plane (having slept MAYBE 2 hours total the entire 32 hours) to be greeted with a “How was your flight??” to which I replied       “There better be a boat back because I am NEVER getting back on a plane with her.”

Why am I sharing this experience on a blog that’s trying to promote travelling with kids? Because I got out of that airport, felt the sun on my face and  smelled the warm salty sea air and in I knew it was all going to be worth it. In the next 10 days we travelled everywhere we could.  We made it to Robben Island and saw the cell where Nelson Mandela was imprisoioned for 25 years, we took a cable car up Table Mountain, went on our first African Safari, hiked to the tip of the African Continent,  played on a beach with penguins surrounding our every move, toured botanical gardens and a boardwalk aquarium, watched tribal dancers and ate local cuisine. We saw the extreme poverty of the townships and met the volunteers working with those stricken with HIV. We ate the freshest sushi I’ve ever had. We made more memories then I could have imagined.  The juice was worth the squeeze. Every minute on those airplanes was worth every second in Africa. I knew I would do it all again- in fact I knew I would do it over and over again in order to experience those life adventures. Travelling with my child made experiencing everything better. Her excitement in seeing animals or tasting something new was contagious. Her contentment watching the ocean waves made me even more relaxed. And my little strawberry blonde making friends everywhere we went was so funny.  Over and over the juice became worth the squeeze.

I’ve learned a lot since our journey to South Africa together. I’ve developed systems and strategies for traveling with my girls. I’ve learned to listen to myself and to grow and to change and to take risks.  I’ve learned that my mental picture of perfection has to be let go in order to enjoy the journey. I learned to change my thinking to a way of acceptance instead of disappointment and discouragement. Travelling with my children makes me feel alive. Being thrown into situations where you have to feel and grow is so much better then being numb and compliant, in life and in travel.

You are brave. You are strong. You can take risks and come out better then you ever realized.  We’ve had breakdowns and boredoms in our travels since Africa but we have always come out better then when we left. If I can make it through that, you can make it through anything too. I’ll be posting more in my “See the World” category over the next month.  I’ll go through my pre-trip planning,  how I pack for our flights, and our strategies for flying with our children.  I hope that you follow along.

And now, a few memories from our Trip to Cape Town in January 2011.

(If you ever have the opportunity  to heading to South Africa, do it. It was one of the most wonderful beautiful countries we have ever visit- and we’ve been to nearly 40. There is so much to do, so many things to see. The family we stayed went cage swimming with great white sharks, did a 3 three day intensive safari, volunteered in the townships, hang gilded….  it is absolutely a place to add to your bucket list).

bonus image- Violet in her little bassinet, These are wonderful and can be requested on long haul international flights. But make sure your baby isn’t too mobile 😉 Most airlines have a 25lb and under six month olds regulation for using them. Violet was well under the weight and height restrictions, but was obviously old. Call your airline in advance to see if you a request one, they won’t guarantee it but definitely worth trying. It may also be a “first come first serve” basis at the airport.